Over time I began to no longer concern myself with who was right and who was wrong.  Rather, I began to focus first on the understanding that my wife, then on being understood.  This was a major shift.  For example, my wife and I have a different view on time.  I f an event has a specific start time associated with it, I want to arrive at the appointed time.  Not so with my wife.  For many years in our marriage, we would be a little too "fashionably late" for dinners, visits with friends, and other functions. 

My wife and I reconciled in April 2004, and it took years of hard and consistent work to repair our marriage.  I needed to grow up and deal with the issues that were preventing me from becoming a better husband and father.

Sadly, it took some time for me to learn this lesson.  There were many instances when I pointed out to my wife, how she was wrong about something, adn how I was right.  I would explain the rationale for my glowing conclusion of who was right

Times of trouble will elicit a response of either fight or flight.  I was defiantely in flight mode when the end of my marriage was near.  I had already tried to fight for my marriage and that failed.  I wanted out!  And my wife was rightly hurt by my causal way